Postive thoughts, negative splits.

Objective: easy

Weather: low 40s F, cloudy but dry

15 min core & pushups 

Just an easy jaunt today. I don't feel energetic in the least, probably due to life circumstances and the 2 nights in a row of 7 hr sleep.  (I think I really need 7.5 minimum.) 

The fact that nothing has changed w/ my FIL's condition is somewhat heartening.  I guess he could still slip away but it doesn't seem like a crisis anymore.  But we are geographically far away and I don't know what quantity of information we might be missing.  No news is good news?

Objective: Moderate w/ extra effort on hills, and fast finish (last .75 @ VO2max). Tapering.

Weather: 47 F, cloudy, calm, heavy mist (not quite rain) 1st mile only

15 core & weights, last day for any leg work

My sincere thanks to everyone who left comments yesterday.  I think I have recovered somewhat from the trauma of yesterday's news. My FIL is still hanging on but remains unconscious.  We talked with my MIL last night, who declares -- with some temper -- that everything threatening my FIL right now has come by his own actions: he did not follow the diet he was supposed to follow, he pulled out his tubes, he refused to walk the halls after his surgery, etc.  At the same time, we know that certain medical procedures were neglected by his nurses, such as putting on the leg massaging socks that might have prevented the first blood clot from forming.  I can tell MIL is struggling terribly with her emotions over this situation.  My DH seems pretty stable, but he is coming down with a cold; the body will sometimes express what the mind cannot.

During the past 24 hours, I have come to the conclusion that I must strive to "let go" of the outcome this week.  FIL may leave us today, tomorrow, next week, or not for years to come.  I have to continue to carry out my marathon taper and travel plans as if nothing is happening, and yet be ready for anything to happen.  I have to accept my own lack of control, not something I am very good at.  But it's going to drive me crazy if I keep thinking "I'm not racing," then "I am racing," back and forth, back and forth.  I've got to find a way to just float through this, que sera, sera. 

Objective: Easy w/ cadence drills, tapering

Weather: 40s F, partly cloudy w/ starry patches

15 min core & weights

I am distraught this morning.  My father-in-law, whose emergency surgery I reported about 3 weeks ago, suffered a pulmonary embolism yesterday and is in very bad condition.  He has spent most of the past 3 weeks in the hospital, with complications from the surgery that removed most of his colon (necrotized).  He has been in poor health for so long, years really.  What reserves could he have to fight for his health?  The cardiologists are trying to decide whether another surgery is even possible.  

On top of my sorrow and anxiety for him, my mother-in-law and my husband, there is the comparitively frivolous sadness that I will not get to run my marathon.  In comparison to  what is happening, and what may happen in the next 24 hours, missing a marathon is as inconsequential as dropping a big ice cream sundae one has constructed, but it is bringing me to tears nonetheless.  Or maybe the whole mess is doing so.

Objective: Some MP miles, marathon rehearsal of clothing (if weather is as predicted) & gels on the run.  4 miles easy + 6 miles MP + 1 mile easy. Tapering; one week to CIM.

Weather: high 40s into low 50s, light fog and mists- gorgeous morning.

I was about 10 seconds off the marathon pace this morning. I decided not to push any harder but just concentrate on relaxing, keeping the cadence up and running form. I still feel kind of heavy; maybe I put on a pound from TG dinner and the continual aftermath of attacking the pie.  (I made my family finish it yesterday while I was out xmas shopping.) I rarely weigh myself but even a small weight gain or loss seems to make a difference on my small frame.  

What a great day for the Seattle Marathon!  This weather is just about my favorite for running, with the tiny exception of the sun coming out near the end of my run (I prefer clouds).  But I am so glad for the volunteers and the runners in Seattle this morning.  I'm sending good wishes to the only blog member I know of who is running it today: have a good race Saamijeff!